Love/Hate & Somewhere Still in Between

by yesitsmafia

Saturday Morning

Lately I found myself back in the arms of my old friend,
welcomed and embraced, comforted
And I hated every single moment of it.

Why?

Because it’s the very same one who told me to let the days pass,
leaving me behind, comfortable
but left behind.

Honestly,
the last 2 months were hard. My appetite left me though it was the season for parties and family gatherings, eating to the point of gluttony. Loneliness, doubt and frustration slowly crept into my every vein and thought though I was surrounded  by friends + my boyfriend & family, reminding me of joy, love and hope. And I found myself crying at nights, angrier and sadder than the night before.

Unsure.

But I know,
it’s all
in my head.

My greatest enemy
My constant companion

How can I live alone in those long cruel nights, restless and awake?
I wouldn’t be in them in the first place if it weren’t for it.

So what do I do?
What can I do?
When the thing you hate and love the most is one & the same?

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