God has been filling my days with such indescribable and uncontainable stuffs that I could not simply fathom what’s going to happen in the coming days. He has been faithful and wonderful that my emotions can’t seem to process everything and just pauses in amazement. And I may not completely understand everything that has happened, but I know in the depths of my heart how truly amazing our Father is.
This entry will have 2 parts, and it may be quite long. So if you’re taking a time off in your busy schedule just to read this post, I can only say how much I appreciate it. And I hope that somehow this will show you how truly amazing God is in our lives.
A few nights ago, I read in a blog about how this guy prayed to God to reveal Himself in his dreams and thoughts for that night. He said that sometimes God waits for us to ask it from Him even though He unselfishly gives it to us. That got me thinking. I’ve been wondering for a while why God hasn’t spoken to me yet. I’ve been praying, seeking Him and meditating on His words every day and yet I feel like He hasn’t replied. So that night I asked the very same thing to Him. And I woke up with this verse -so vivid, so clear – on my mind that I woke up jumping and excited to read what it was.
I will rise now and go about the city, in the streets and in the squares; I will seek him whom my soul loves. I sought him, but found him not.
Song of Songs 3:2 ESV
At first, I couldn’t understand what it had meant. The only thing I knew about the book, Song of Songs, was that it was Solomon’s love stories -that’s it. But I continued on, reading verses 1 to 5; thinking maybe if I read the whole context I would get a grasp on the situation and maybe understand what God was telling me. It took me almost the entire day to somewhat understand; and even now as I’m writing this, I’m still realizing a lot about it.
If you have read this passage (1-5), it talks about the Shulamite woman’s dream where she was trying to look for her beloved. The first 3 verses told of her searching for him but did not found him. But on the last 2 told of how she had found him. Don’t worry. Solomon didn’t write it this way. It was so much more poetic than this. Haha! Anyways, there are a lot of ways we can interpret this passage but here’s mine.
If there’s anything in this story that caught my attention, the line “I sought him, but found him not” was it. You can just imagine how great her love must’ve been for her beloved that she sought him out until she found him. After the first time this line was said, the phrase “I will rise now” came afterwards. The woman rose from her bed resolved to press on and look for him still, her love never faltering but still didn’t find him the second time. But she searched for him until she finally did.
On the night I asked Him to reveal Himself to me in the place where I go to get lost and hide from reality -my comfort place- my dreams and my thoughts, I didn’t realize that I finally had let Him in everything in my life. I know that He knows every bit of my being, but I have yet to let Him come in to every part of myself. And with that I knew He had heard my question: “Are you still listening God?”
Sometimes, we find ourselves with the same question, the same doubt about God. Is He still listening to our prayers? Is He still there for us? There’s too many of us and only one of Him. Can God be with all of us at the same time? And the answer is yes. He is always there for His children. He is Omnipresent. And I’m pretty sure this question follows immediately. But why does it feel like sometimes He isn’t there?
There’s a lot of factors that I could think of as to why. I’m not sure if they’re even correct but I will only write about what I came to realize.
I’ve been occupied with so many things that it filled most of my thoughts. Even though God wasn’t much away from my thoughts, these other thoughts flooded my mind, and whenever I came to talk to God, it would only be of prayers seeking immediate answers. I would rely upon His words for encouragement but never as the definite solution. In short, I wasn’t satisfied until I saw the results. What I didn’t realize was God was already working His wonders (I’ll tell you all about it in part 2). The days that I thought He seemed withdrawn from me, I thought maybe God got tired of listening and just moved on to another person. But being the stubborn person that I was, I tried not to get it discouraged me and continued to pray.
I guess this is the part where I could say my stubbornness was of help. If it wasn’t for it, I would’ve probably have given up and moved on myself. But praise God, He made me this way. He reminded me that the days of trouble must be days of prayer; that instead of seeking diversion, we must seek God and his favor and grace.
In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord; in the night my hand is stretched out without worrying; my soul refuses to be comforted. When I remember God, I moan; when I meditate, my spirit faints.
Psalms 77: 2,3 ESV
Let us be like the Shulamite woman who did not give up but pressed on looking for her beloved until she found him. If we truly love God, let us not get startled at difficulties but instead, seek Him more until we find Him. Whatever it is that we pray for, it will come in its appointed time. If it seems slow, we should wait for it , it will surely come, it will not delay [Habakukk 2:3] as God said in His words.
On my last post, I shared with all of you one of things that I was worrying about. Money. And I also shared of what God had told me, that is to be still and know that He is God. And know that He will fight for me.
In the days after I had written that, I couldn’t explain the state of hope that I was in. No matter how things seem to get worse and time passing by so fast, I was hopeful that God will be faithful. If not for me, then for His other children whom I know deserve it more. Maybe this was the reason of my stubbornness (from part 1). Maybe this is what persevered me to seek Him more even though I felt like He wasn’t listening. Maybe. But that definitely fueled me this last few days.
His words, His promise, His love endures forever.
And He did exactly what He had promised!
At first, God had provided people to donate for our fundraiser, a garage sale. Then He provided customers. There wasn’t a time when our makeshift store lacked customers. In 3 days, we were able to save a quarter of our goal (our end goal was 20K PHP) -that’s like 4 of our youths that could attend camp. And by the end of Sunday night, me and my good friend, NR (who’s also a youth leader, the President even!), were in such good spirits that I thought to myself things can’t get any better.
But I was about to be proven wrong.
this morning, I woke up by the sound of a conversion going outside my bedroom. They sounded excited, ecstatic and somewhat astounded that I obviously wanted to know what all the halabaloo was about. And here’s the part that really blew me away. Someone had donated to us the same exact amount we still needed to complete everyone’s fees for camp. Praise be to God!
I was beyond words. My emotions definitely were running haywire to the point that it took me so long to take everything in. I called up NR to tell her the news and I could tell just how overwhelmed she was too.
GOD IS AMAZING.
He is the one who created the Heavens and the earth by His great power, and nothing is too hard for Him [Jeremiah 32.17]. Nothing is greater than Him. And as NR said: When God acts, there’s nothing you can do but to kneel down and weep. That’s how mighty our God is.
There’s only less than a week before our camp starts, and I’m so excited to what has God planned out for us –for me. From the things He has been doing these past days, I can only conclude that the best has yet to come!
Tonight my dear friends, I pray that you get to see the greatness of our Lord God in your lives and be grateful for it. I pray that you would continually seek Him, in times of trouble and even in times of peace. I pray that Lord hears the cries of your hearts and answer them in His own perfect time.
On behalf of SCMI Youth and Shekinah-UB’s Yeshua Militia, I want to say how grateful we are. From the ones who have donated clothes (brand new and pre-loved), people who retweeted and shared our posts on Facebook and on Twitter, to the people who continually prayed for us leaders and to all of the youth, and to those who have given financially, THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts! And to our Abba Father, all the glory and praise be for You!
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photo by Miko Go